Thursday, December 6, 2007

To God Be The Glory (Struggle To Survive - Part 2)

It was the hardest decision in my life to take. Come to think of it, I had no choice then but to turn to the Lord for guidance and deliverance in those troubled times.

After so much soul searching and inquiries from the Lord, I decided to forgo the
operations and let my wife proceed to the US to work. Actually, there was no choice since we do not have the money for the operations. And even if we do, how can I be operated for three different diseases that all needed immediate surgeries. I think even king Solomon would have been hard pressed to solve that problem.

My wife finally went to the US and I was left alone relying exclusively on the grace and mercy of my God. I have to become the father and mother of my four kids, the youngest of whom was my six years old Princess Heidi.

Oh, problems were aplenty and I terribly missed my wife to share the burden of the upkeep of our house and the rearing of our children.

I have been to the portals of death so many times that I have already prepared myself for such an eventuality. In my sleep, the evil one would taunt me with the possibility of death. So many times, I would hear the vein on my nape snapped as I thought I was already having a major stroke. I knew that a single stroke would kill me since as a diabetic, whatever wound that might develop in my brain would not clot and I would bleed to death.

I have time and again suffered sleepless nights because of the excruciating pain in my lower back and in my groin. I hid those pains to others as I ministered and prayed for the needs of those the Lord had brought to me. But at night, I pour my heart out to the Lord. I shed copious tears to the Lord but never did I question the reason for my terrible pain. I always trust in His unfailing love and mercy.

But it's not all pain throughout. There were respite and relief from the nagging pains in my journey to life. They serve as virtual oases in my desert trek in life.

I have been through a lot of misfortunes and pains that there were times where my faith wavered. Like when we suffered that devastating flood that practically wiped out all our material possessions in our house. My wife suffered scarcity of and intermittent jobs in the US because of the housing and unemployment problems there. And lately, the scoliosis problem of my lower back and the acute hernia and enlarged prostate gland in my groin have caused me so much pain that I could scarcely get up, much less walk.

I no longer use my mind to ponder these things since all signs point to a permanent disability or complete paralysis of my lower body. I hold on to the great promises of God to deliver me from all these trials.

My favorite verse containing His unequivocal promise is, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways,
acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6) He has delivered me from all my trials before, and He will deliver me from them, again and again and again.

Each day that I wake up in the morning, I thank Him for keeping me alive and still become productive for my children and the souls I minister to. Truly, I am now living by faith and not by sight. To God be the glory now and forever. Amen.

Posted by Mel Avila Alarilla


Mel Avila Alarilla said...

To my beloved friends,
God has been so good to me. He touched me in so many ways that I am so overwhelmed by the things that have happened to my life lately. I can now stand and move freely without any pain. And by the grace of God, I will be seeing a regular physical therapist next week. A person not even closed to me was touched by the Lord and she brought her massaging belt to me during the three days that I was lingering in extreme pain. Not only that, the Lord also touched the hearts of a group of warrior intercessors in our church and without them knowing where I live, they inquired from others where they could get in touch with me. They went to my house and ministered unto my spiritual and emotional needs. They payed over me for my complete healing and deliverance and for blessings too. Wow, I could not believe the spiritual windfall that the Lord has showered upon me. And to all these I can only say, TO GOD BE THE GLORY, now and forever. Amen.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Ooops, my error. That should have been, "they prayed over me" and not "they payed over me." Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Ciao. God bless you all. I love you all with the love of the Lord.

Arthur said...

Don't be sad Mel, if you are sad, I'm sad too.

You know, only God knows why He does what He does.

When I was 2, I lost my Father, and since I'm the older kid, I've had to be the man of the house.

But I've got strenght this time and I'm just happy with my Mother and my younger brother.

And I've got Gusthav, as my best friend, my soul mate, my soul brother.

Finally, I also give thanks to God every morning when I wake up for keeping me here with my Mother, my brother, Gusthav and his family, and every blogerr who visit me and I visit them.

Big greetings and big Hugs

Sweet Dreams, from the bottom of my heart:

Gusthav said...

I just want you to know you're not alone.

First of all, God is with us all. Then, Arthur and me are with you too.

I had the same history 'cause many time ago, my parents got divorced, and my Mother got away, and me and my sister stayed here with our Dad. My Dad was about to marry with Arthur's Mother, so I knew Arthur and I would be friends, soul mates, soul brothers.

But my Mother got back here, and my parents married again, and we're all together again.

My point here is that when my Mother was traveling around the world with a younger and richer man, my Dad had to act as Father and Mother to take care of my sister and me.

Don't lose the faith or the hope, your wife will be back just as my Mother got back here.

Arthur and me will be here as possible as we can.

Greetings, hugs

Nice Day, with my whole soul:

Noushy Syah said...

Hi Mel,

Hope you are much better today, physically and spiritually as you used to be.

NOw you see,everyone of us has been tested by God in different really not alone Mel,keep the faith to God as you used to be and I'm sure the strength of your love will get you through this rough time..

Good luck for the PT next week and may God will bless you always.Your spiritual and emotional courageous inspired me and others.

Dr. Deb said...

I also hope that soon you will be feeling well.

Sameera said...

"This too shall pass" dear friend,nothing else have I got to say,cause it would be too less when compared the might of willpower you harbor within and I pray to God that this willpower grows by the day.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and hope you find yours soon.God Bless You.Take good care.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Arthur,
Thanks for your visit and for the very inspiring words you said. They really touched my soul. I'm glad that you took the death of your father positively and have become the arm that helped your mother to take care of your family especially your younger brother. God is so good to us, He gives us His divine providence in all that we need. We just have to acknowledge Him in everything that we do. I know that your friendship with Gusthav will last a lifetime. Yes, he is your soul brother. I will always be praying for you and your family. Just consider me your spiritual substitute father. Thanks again my young friend. God bless and have a nice and peaceful day.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Gusthav,
Thanks for your usual visit and for the very kind words you left behind. You and Arthur will always be my spiritual kids and I will pray for both of you and your respective families. Be always the fine young men that you both are. Someday you will be having families of your own and I know that the myriads of lives you have encountered through blogging will enrich and strengthen your characters. Thanks again my young friend. God bless and have a peaceful and pleasant day.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Noushy,
Thank you my dear friend for your very comforting words. I will always treasure your friendship and will pray for your success in all aspects of your life. We are all strengthened when we share each others vulnerable moments in our lives. They touch the human side of others as they commiserate with the suffering of their blog mates. We become effective communicators just by being ourselves and communicating from the heart and soul. Thanks again for being always here for me even in my most trying moments. God bless and have a peaceful and love filled day.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Dr. Deb,
Yes, I am feeling very well now. The doctor has visited me. He, he, he, *lol* Joking aside, thanks for your visit, I always appreciate that. And thanks for your concern too. I hope you don't charge me for consultation fee. He, he, he, *lol* Thanks again. God bless and have a wonderful and peaceful day.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Sameera,
And how's my literary genius? I miss your short stories and your love poems. I do hope I will be reading them again very soon. Thanks for your concern and for the very encouraging words. You have your own inner strength and your noble causes my friend. Probably, you are just still enmeshed in the pursuit of your career so that your focus is not yet fully attuned to them. But in the right time, your true purpose in life will be revealed and you will respond accordingly. Right now enjoy your life to the fullest and savor the exuberance of youth. Thanks for your time and friendship. I know how busy you are with your work and I do appreciate your sharing your valuable time with me. God bless you with the very best in life. Have a nice and fun filled weekend.

c e e d y said...

hey mel

you have won half the battle already.....the battle of wits.....
think positive and miracles do happen......

best of luck....i know i cant share your physical pain......but do pray that you are mentally tougher every day.....

I am too young to say this but circumstances and events in life shape us and make us aware of its nuances - its upon us how we tackle this information shun upon us -
remember you are in a test in this lifetime (if you beleive in reincarnation)....HE wants you to relaize HE is omnipresent and do not waver at any cost.....this is your KARMA in this lifetime and you cannot avoid it or else you will carry on this suffering to the next lifetime.....

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

I admire your faith. You have so much faith...
I am sure God will never disappoint you. They say if you are having a hard time, be glad because God is actually paying attention to you and thinking about you.
God isn't really paying attention to those who are don't pass through trying time.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Ceedy,
Thanks for your visit and for your very comforting comments. I used to believe in reincarnation, karma, and other Eastern mystical beliefs. But things have changed when I became born again. I rely solely on the Bible for my spiritual sustenance. The Bible says, "it is appointed for man to die once and after that, judgment." I will not argue with you on the nuances of this certain belief carried by both Hinduism and Buddhism. Suffice it to say that I was there before and things did not turn out alright for me. Right now I have dedicated the rest of my life for the service of my God through whatever ministry He will assign me to. I respect your particular beliefs and I do appreciate your sharing them with me. Thanks again for your visit. Have a nice and peaceful day.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Raaji,
Thank you very much for your very encouraging words. Yes, I live by faith not by sight. Had I lived by sight, I would have long died through my various illnesses. But God is using them to show His incomparable glory to others as He show His mercy and grace through my life. Right now, I have given the remaining days of my life to Him in the furtherance of His kingdom and I will become a vessel for Him to reach out to other lives who are in need of comfort and grace. Thanks for your usual visit. God bless and have a wonderful and peaceful day.

krystyna said...

Hi Mel,
your story touched me very, very much. Be strong in God as you ere!
Take care about your body too. Our body is our Holy Temple..I always pray "Dear God, I'll do what I can and You'll do the rest".
You are in my daily prayers.
Pleas, keep up your great spiritual work.
We need it.
I need it.
The World needs it.
You are strong in God's Power.

krystyna said...

Sorry, I mean "as you are".

Your site is beautiful, spiritual, inspiring place.
God bless you and your family!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Krystyna,
What can I say? To God be the glory. Thanks for your wonderful and inspiring words. You surely made my day. Things are beginning to be more positive for me nowadays and things are looking brighter. Praise be to God for all the wonderful things He has done to my life. God bless you my sister in Christ. Have a wonderful and Spirit filled day.

JLee said...

Mel, don't give up faith! You have so many powerful prayers coming your way. Take time to laugh with your children. Laughter is also a powerful healing force. God bless!

SeaSpray said...

Hi Mel- my prayers are with you. You have been through and are going through so much and yet you have such a beautiful spirit and are a blessing to many, including me. I know that is the Lord working in you. It is beautiful and inspiring how even amidst your pain you are a willing vessel allowing the Lord to work through you to minister to others. I guess as I said in my post I should take the diabetes more seriously.

God Bless you Mel. :)

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Jlee,
Thanks for your visit and for your very practical suggestion. Yes, I agree with you that laughter is a very powerful medicine. That's the reason why I love your blog. You have a very fine sense of humor. I'm also praying for your good health. Thanks again and have a wonderful day. God bless.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Seaspray,
Thanks for your visit and for the very encouraging and inspiring comments you made. Yes, I'm taking my diabetes very seriously since it tends to attack almost all vital organs in the body. I am regularly taking my maintenance medicines both for hypertension and diabetes and I am avoiding sugar and too much carbohydrates. But in the long run, it is still the Lord who calls the shots. We can only hope for His divine mercy and grace. I am also praying for you so that you will have complete healing and deliverance too. You have a noble spirit too buried deep down inside of you. You just have to nurture it so that it will grow and bear much fruit. Thanks again. God bless and have a very nice and fruitful day.

Marie said...

Mel, I am sorry you are still in so much physical pain!

I know first hand what it means to survive in the midst of heartache and pain. I am glad you have found the strenght and reslove to survuve and cope!

Noushy Syah said...


How's your PT sessions going on? I do hope you feel much better yea...

Sheilalu said...

Oh, I feel so sad while reading. I feel your pain too because I have my own pain. There were times that I would just cry and cry feeling so helpless with my pain. And there's nothing I can do except offer my pain, myself to God. You are right, we will just have to lift everything to God and hold on to His great promises to deliver us from all our trials. Just be strong and have faith always...
GOD BLESS YOU and your family...

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Sheilalu,
I never thought that someone would go back this far with my previous post. You must have scanned my list of post and was attracted by the title of the article. I could sense the bitter pain you are suffering right now and I would like to help you anyway I can. I'll be visiting your blog as soon as I finish this comment. I assure you that I will be praying for you. God bless and may the Lord grant you divine healing, deliverance and the realization of all the secret dreams in your heart. Have a nice and peaceful day always.

"Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts" (Hebrews 4:7b)


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