Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Eloquence of Silence

Have you been unfairly and savagely criticized by others and your first reaction was to tear the person apart by venomous words pouring out of your mouth or pen? How many times have we reacted immediately to a disparaging remarks and dished out our own missile to our enemy? After that what happened? We did not only give the offending party justification for his unfair accusations but we overdo the reaction and feel guilty as hell afterwards. And that will be the start of a cold war between you and your detractor.

James said in James 3: 6, "The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." We must control the urge to speak out or write when we are angry, for we are ruled by unbridled emotions at that moment. Better to keep silent and put the offending party off guard. Imagine his consternation to elicit a different reaction from you. Silence speaks louder than so many hollow words. It speaks volumes of what could have been and is the best reaction to a savage attack. Instead of counter attacking, we just stand our ground without necessarily capitulating. The attacker is then exposed with all the negative implications of his actions. He is exposed as an impulsive person who shoots first then ask questions later. And believe you me, he will realize that he has placed his foot on his mouth and will feel terrible about it. So instead of engaging your enemy in a war of words, why not give him a dose of your eloquence of silence?

Notice: This article was not written to spite any person living or dead. Any similarity of this article to a factual experience in life is purely coincidental and means no harm to anyone. I apologize to anybody who might feel alluded to by this article. I love you all with the love of the Lord. God bless you all.

Tags: Silence, Eloquence, Criticism, Reactions, Remarks, Tongue, Control, Emotions, Volumes, Patience, Kindness, Charity, Love, Christian Charity

Posted by: Mel Avila Alarilla


krystyna said...

Thank you so much Mel for putting pic with Abby.
You can put also the same post as my is, if you want. Abby's parents asked, so I did.

I'll be back in the morning reading your post. I'm so tired now, but I'd like to tell you - Big Thanks!
God bless you!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Krystyna,
I think the widget should be good enough for the meantime. I'm sure my readers will click on it and read about Abby. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you always my friend.

krystyna said...

You right, Mel, the widget is good enough.

Keep silent!
I think it is the best way and clue to avoid conflict.
Keep silent is the best defense and self-defense.
Leave it up to God.
God sees everything.

The parlance is a silver, but the silence is a gold.

It is better to bless and pray for our enemy than execrate him.

God will make the best!

Eel Wind said...

ehm...WHen i am criticized, first thing first i will experience emotional melt-down. screaming or shouting back at people is not my style though sometimes deep down in my heart i just feel like tearing someone up. "The tongue also is a fire". this is a powerful statement. hopefully i will always bear this in mind.thank you for sharing, Mel :)

fingertalks said...

hello bro. mel, thank you for this timely post.was just a victim of someone...been waiting for her countless broken promises...until i was already at the verge of being pissed...i thought twice just a moment ago whether to txt her with some words...but i chose not to...it would be useless if i would react at the time that i was feeling annoyed. anyway, there was a time in my life when i reacted, but said sorry afterwards...however the person was kind of mean...that person won't accept sorry..i don't know why. hehe..but i felt much better of course...I know that the good Lord is with me...thanks my friend for this beautifully written post. God bless!

Tey said...

wow patu writing? this is so hard... writing is the only way for me to release what's inside me. But I will try my best Mel... Although I try to hide my blogs from these people..
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Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Krystyna,
Yes, the widget will suffice not unless his parents will also request me to repost their original post. Silence indeed is the best defense against unfair attacks and accusations. It affords the attacker to think things out and realize the folly of his actions. Thanks for your visit and untiring support my friend. God bless you always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Eel Wind,
I always admire the maturity of your thoughts although you are very young my friend. I will be featuring your blog in my next post at How's Your Blog. Thanks for your visit and your valuable comments. God bless you always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Fingertalks,
Hurting words can never be recalled no matter how one tries to mend broken relationships. It is better to suffer in silence and let God equalize things. God is the great equalizer, He will never let His children suffer unnecessarily unless there is a divine purpose for that. Thanks for your visit and valuable comments my friend. I hope you are doing fine in your pregnancy. God bless you and your family.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Tey,
It's easy to retaliate but the damage will get worse. Better to keep our silence and peace and let your accuser roast in his own stew. People will always feel guilty when they do nasty things. They will always fear retaliation. Why not throw them offguard by not retaliating? That was the secret of Mahatma Gandhi who was able to defeat the great British empire by the strength of his nonaction and nonviolence in the face of great adversities. Thanks for your visit and honest comments my friend. O nakita mo na yung litrato ni Antoinette Taus (sa K.I.S.S.)? Kamukha mo di ba?he,he,he,lol. God bless you always.

Anonymous said...

I read somewhere :
A man is as good as its toungue.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Hobo,
To a certain extent maybe yes, but silence can command the respect of others especially when a person is unfairly attacked. As they say, silent waters run deep. Thanks for your visit and profound comments. God bless.

SeaSpray said...

Hi Mel - your post has caused me to wonder if I have over reacted and am obsessing about my at this time lost medical records and i admit I am angry at the nurse's attitude of thinking I am making too much of it. But I am worried about *possible* but God forbid identity theft and upset at the humiliation and possible breach of confidentiality of my personal info. and frustrated at the loss of the doctors notes and the idea that my records could be seen by the wrong people ,,,just makes me really upset.

If you have time...could you please read my 2 posts I have written about lost med recs. The 1st one is long but I was venting and I was in the 2nd one too. Then I did in Throckmorton's blog (on my sidebar)

I know I should trust god that this has happened for a reason and perhaps I am not handling this right,

And I feel bad because the doctor died and I hate bothering upsetting them..although they don't seem to care about my being upset... and I feel angry too.

I just want my records and am concerned they were mailed out to strangers when they were copying records.

But now I am feeling guilty because I expressed so much anger.

I was never rude to her though. My frustration is her lack of attentiveness, no apology and discounting something so important.

Good post Mel. :)

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Saespray,
Venting may relieve us of stress but if we vent too much to another person, we cause him considerable pain and he might resent our actions. I know it's hard but did not the Lord taught us to turn the other cheek? Believe you me, if a person abuse you with scathing words and you just look at him with an understanding eyes, he will immediately feel the shame going all over his body and chances are, he will apologize for his harsh words. Now if it's you who delivered those harsh words and you don't feel like apologizing, just leave it at that and ask forgiveness from the Lord. The fruit of the Holy Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. If we are Spirit filled, we will be exhibiting these traits naturally. As your foreword in your blog says, we pass this world but once and so let us leave a footprint for others to remember us by (or some words to that effect). I will try to read the posts you mentioned here but I cannot promise you that since I have ten blogs to attend to and my time at our computer is very limited since I share it with my 3 kids who are so addicted to online games. Thanks for your visit and encouraging comments. God bless you always.

SeaSpray said...

Thank you Mel.

I was not mean to her, but rather supportive, polite but I did have to get insistent about them finding my medical records.

i have genuine concern and she blew me off. The dr died and the practice will be closing. I am concerned about identity theft and my very personal info getting into the wrong hands. They were making copies of every pt s records and I think they sent mine, including originals out to strangers. They will never admit that. I have been hurt and angered by her attitude and so have vented via blogging.

The worst thing I said was in a message when I said this was an egregious mistake and my records have to be found.

I was polite with her.

don't worry about reading them. I can see you are busy and you answered me here. :)

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Seaspray,
It's your judgment call my friend. If you feel you are in the right to have righteous indignation then so be it. Who am I to judge my fellow being. God said judge not that you may not be judged. In all things just use your conscience in establishing the justness of your cause. We are immediately convicted by the Holy Spirit if we are on the wrong side. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you always.

SeaSpray said...

Well...I do know..that no matter what happens...we are supposed to forgive.

And we can't help our feelings. but we can choose what to do with them when they rise up.

I do think it is understandable as to why i would be upset.

As a med professional... she should be more understanding.

I got mad when I was/am the one who's personal info could be compromised (that is serious)and she has an attitude with me.

I know it was a mistake. An apology would be nice. It won't bring my records back and I pray to God my info does not fall into the wrong hands.

As a matter of fact...there is nothing hidden from God. i pray HE reveals them and helps them locate them before the practice closes.

Thank you. :)

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Seaspray,
Amen to that my friend. God bless.

"Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts" (Hebrews 4:7b)


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