Sunday, August 15, 2010


My wife is working in the US for four years now. I was left alone to take care of our four kids. My eldest and second eldest are both working and my youngest son and our youngest daughter are both studying. I have problems disciplining my three sons for they already have minds of their own and they resent being chastised. My youngest son complained of lbm (loose bowel movement) the other day and said he could not go to school because of that. I left it at that and gave him medicines. Yesterday morning, he acted up again and marooned himself in our toilet for quite sometime, then went upstairs and did not come down again. Since I was busy blogging, I did not notice that he did not leave for school. I was just shocked when I saw him coming down already too late to attend school. I told him that he could not play with the computer for the whole day as punishment for skipping school. After I came back to the house after paying some bills and after going to the market to buy food, I saw him upstairs sound asleep. I felt pity for him and wanted to reassure him and say he could play the computer but I controlled myself knowing that it was for his own good. Then I remember how God could have felt the pain of disciplining us whenever we go astray. How His heart must have bled in compassion for the hurt we are enduring. But like myself with my son, God must withhold stopping the disciplinary actions against us lest He loses us forever. If He did not spare His only Son to save us all, what will He not do to save us from eternal damnation?

Tags: God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit, Discipline, Loving Father, Trial, Pain, Steadfast Love, Cross, Symbol of God's Love, Gospel, Word of God, Holy Bible

Posted by: Mel Avila Alarilla


Bambie dear ★ said...

I feel you Sir Mel.. it's really a challenge for us to think of how can we discipline our children.. syempre iba iba tayo ng mga styles pero iisang layunin. I remember when I was a kid din, medyo matigas din ang ulo ko and sometimes I act up para lang makuha ang gusto ko. Ngayon ko lang naiintindihan kung bakit lagi ako napapagalitan nun. I just hope na hindi ako mahirapan magdisiplina kay Anzu. Nahirapan din siguro ang tatay ko sa kin nung bata ako... Pero ngayon ko lang naaappreciate =)

I think you're doing good Sir Mel kaya don't stress yourself too much.. mga kids talaga minsan di nakikinig. But they will know someday..

imelda said...

ay naku mel i have two sons and im having a hard time din with my elder son. he skips classes, too. i have dealt with him on this. it pains me when my son is acting up. it is hard to be a single mom, really. i empahtize with what you feel. let us just offer this pain we feel to the Lord

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Bambie dear,
Thank you so much for your inspiring comments. Yes, we understand the hardship of parents when we ourselves become parents too. It is really hard to discipline children especially boys, and especially when you are alone to be their father and mother. I don't think you will have a hard time with Anzu. Just train her to confide everything in you so that you will be able to properly guide her. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Imelda,
Yes, it's hard to discipline sons nowadays because they tend to rebel when disciplined. I just turn them over to the Lord for His guidance as you said. And I pray hard for them so that they will not depart from the path of God's righteousness. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you all always.

Dhemz said...

ulirang ama ka talaga kuya...saludo ako sa patience mo...I can't imagine myself disciplining 4 kids by myself...ang hirap kaya non....saludo po ako sau kuya...mabuhay po kau!

charmie said...

To sum it up Kuya, you are a good father and a mother to your kids. Wala ang asawa mo sa apat na taon at kaw lang mag isa para disiplinahin sila. I'm very much sure na mahirap yong rule na tatay at nanay at the same time!Pero gaya ng sabi mo andyan si Lord na lagi natin asahan in times of trouble.! Thanks for this post! God Bless,:)

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Dhemz,
TO GOD BE THE GLORY. It is by God's grace that I can do the things I am doing given my limited abilities because of my sicknesses. I have to do them because I stand as the father and mother of our kids while my wife works in the States. Kung baga sa chess, forced moves yun. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you all always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Charmie,
I have experienced the good and the bad from my children. One thing I learned about single parenting is to be selfless and to sacrifice your own welfare for the sake of your kids even if they sometimes fail to appreciate what you are doing for them. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you always.

Sam said...

Hello Sir Mel, I really admire you for being able to bring up your kids alone. Yes, discipline is really hard to do. Now that my girl is getting older, she becomes a little hard-headed as well. LOLz. She insists on what she likes to do. I only make sure I am consistent with her and that I discipline her with love. Mahirapa pa la talaga maging parents. Have a blessed day to you and your 4 angels. Take care always and God bless:)

*♥Shydub♥* said...

I feel you Sir mel. Hirap yata ina at ama ka sa mga anak mo. Ako nga na 2 years old at 1 year pa mga anak ko parang ma frustrated na thinking how to discipline them. Discipline is really hard on our part kasi kami mismo ng asawa ko hindi ma disiplina sarili, paano pakaya mga anak and we are working on that though. Anyway, I know you are very good of what you are doing Sir Mel, You have God in your side and he would always give you ways to discipline your kids in a way na hindi magtatampo mga anak mo.

kami lumaki kaming may kunting galit sa magulang kasi we kind of not like it the way they discipline us. Oki haba na ng litanya ko, thanks for the parenting post Sir Mel.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Sam,
That's the role of parents. Children today are more rebellious in nature than children of yesteryears. They are very assertive and want complete freedom. We can only pray for them and surrender them to the Lord for His keeping. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you all always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Shy,
I entrust my kids to the Lord and try as much as possible to give them good examples rather than subject them to verbal moralizing. Children are very rebellious now and very assertive of their rights. I just pray for them and turn them over to the Lord for His keeping. I know you have hard disciplinary experiences from your parents before. It shows in your mindset today. But everything else will be fine if surrendered to the Lord. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you all always.

awalkthroughlife said...

hi brother mel - sometimes it's really hard to become parents because children grow up with some values that are not only influenced by parents but by his or her environment as well. however, with parents guiding them and with God's guidance, hopefully they will be led to the right path. let's not give up on our kids the same way that God did not give up on us.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Meretisha,
Amen to that. As the Bible says, "train the child in the way he should go and when he grows up he will not depart from it." Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you all always.

"Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts" (Hebrews 4:7b)


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