Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Blind Spots

What is a blind spot? It is something that others see in us that we do not see ourselves. Either we are not aware of it or we just pretend that it is not there. Usually, it is something that may have been an offshoot of a traumatic experience from the past. Or it may be an inborn trait that we have already drowned in our conscious mind but continues to linger on in our subconscious mind.

Almost all people have blind spots in their lives, one way or the other. We may not see it until others tell us about it. We may acknowledge its presence in us but often times, it is always denied by us.

The antidote to this blind spots is an honest to goodness self examination and acceptance of who we really are. We can ask our inner circle of family and friends
for inputs of our blind spots. We must be sincere in curing our blind spots by being humble and accepting everything that our family and friends will tell us. And in the end, we can resolve that we will reverse the process of blind spots by accepting the realities in our lives.

The Bible said, "you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." Are you prepared to acknowledge and correct your blind spots?

Posted by Mel Avila Alarilla


Arthur said...

Hi Mel, that's interesting, maybe there is something I don't know but the others say to me they are. That's interesting, you know, in the past I didn't accept I am an easily-offended boy, but now I do. And I think that's the origin of my anger.

Big greetings and big hugs

Sweet Dreams, from the bottom of my Heart:

Gusthav said...

Hi Mel, everyone say I'm (different from Arthur) a very easy-going boy, and that's a problem 'cause I cannot take everything seriously. but I'm managing to do.

And the other is that I'm having trouble with the way I eat, you know, I always eat meat, juicy and thick, and I eat lots of junk food. That's why I'm fat.

I'll try to slow down my eating way.

Greetings and hugs

Nice Day, with my whole soul:

fingertalks said...

hi bro. mel,

this post made me reflect about my own blind spots. it's true that oftentimes we don't know them unless someone points them out. so it's really best to examine once in awhile about who we are, what our real purpose is, our flaws...and by then, we discover that the best thing to do is to accept ourselves as we pretenses, no harsh judgment of our own self, that way we could love our self even more, and others as well, and most of all, God. it's also important that from time to time, we ask ourselves this question..."Deep down, what am I really like?"...Sometimes, I ask myself this question to discover the things that I don't want in myself so i could correct them, or change them.

c e e d y said...

I really appreciate this post...have been thru something like this - let me explain - many a times unawares we do something that hurts someone - and they get angry or irritated and either stop talking or argue
I ask them if it irritated you - it means something is wrong - tell me what is wrong instead of getting angry.....if I was aware of it in the first place I will not do it again....

As difficult it is to accept blind spots - it is also difficult to find someone to point them out for you.......

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Arthur,
All people have their individual blind spots. That's natural. But sometimes we become so defensive when others tell us what they see in us. My suggestion is, get a circle of your most trusted friends and ask them to reveal everything they see in you whether good or bad. Do not react to their revelations, otherwise those next in line may clam up and you fail to receive their most honest opinion about you. I suggest you take a note pad with you and write down every input your friends will reveal. Afterwards, ask them to make suggestions on how you can reverse the blind spots and improve yourself. You'll be amazed at the valuable suggestions your friends will tell you. After that, make a pact with them to assess you again after 6 months to one year and see whether you have improved and changed. As they say, improvement is the admittance of failure. It is nice that we can see ourselves as we really are. Thanks for your visit my young friend. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Gusthav,
You are doing well, my young friend. Nothing to worry about. You can do what I advise Arthur to do and both of you can benefit from the honest evaluation of your friends. Don't be afraid to accept criticisms. They hurt at first but if you take them constructively, you will become a better person. If you tend to overeat, try to exercise the excess energy off otherwise you'll turn out sickly like me as you grow older. I'm so proud of both of you and I'm sure your respective parents are also very proud of you both. Thanks for your visit and meaningful comments. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi sis Des,
You spout words of wisdom and I really admire your stand on the issue of blind spots. Few people have the guts to face themselves squarely in the mirror and accept their weaknesses and limitations. I think the best way to evaluate ourselves and learn of our own blind spots is to approach the throne of grace of God and there humble ourselves before His awesome presence. In the face of His awesome glory, we are unmasked and all pretensions and claims of self glory fall apart. Thanks my friend for your words of wisdom. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Ceedy,
I commiserate with your problem my friend, but we have an inner circle of friends who will surely tell us our real score if they can sense that we really want the unadulterated truth. The problem is, sometimes our blind spot is the very reason why our closest friends and associates are wary of revealing to us the unsavory truth. It takes a lot of guts and pure humility to accept constructive criticisms from friends. Sometimes, their desire to communicate the truth is cut off immediately by our
unrecognized defense mechanisms. Let's face it, all of us have been burned before by unsavory experiences in life, and after those forgettable experiences, we unknowingly build up our own inner defense mechanisms. It takes a lot of hard soul searching and inputs and advices from meaningful friends and associates for us to unearth and cure those defense mechanisms which are in reality, blind spots. Thanks for your honest comments and insights my friend. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Keshi said...

Great post Mel!

**Almost all people have blind spots in their lives, one way or the other. We may not see it until others tell us about it. We may acknowledge its presence in us but often times, it is always denied by us.

So true! Its like we r in denial and then one day we suddenly SEE.


Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Keshi,
Yes, blind spots can also be caused by denials and submersions, when we submerged something deep down in our subconscious. But somehow someway, they find their way out into the conscious level and cause us great strains and consternations. It is as if we have a dual personality or a subliminal character. Denials and submersions are not healthy for the mind and the emotions. It causes repressed emotions and have to be unearthed and liberated to have a cleaner and saner personality. Thanks for your comments. God bless you and your loved ones always.

My Daily Thoughts said...

and most of the time we choose to be blind so that we cannot feel the pain.. I wish I always have the strenght to face everything though I always try..

God Bless..

heiresschild said...

hi Mel, i immediately thought of the blind spot in the side-view mirror when driving a car. that mirror doesn't always paint a proper picture of what's on the sides of our car. we still have to lean over a tad, and/or turn our heads a tad to make sure no car is in the lane we're switching to. so we can't just rely on the side mirrors in our own lives. while we all have to work on ourselves so we can be a better me/person, real love is accepting one another, in spite of the blind spots. as always Mel, good food for thought and self-reflection.

c e e d y said...

Yes- you are absolutly right - we tend to create an invisible shiels as soon as someone pokes at us...

But I have one question, since you are so geneorus in explaining and I am inquisitive to learn -

how can one get rid of the guilt that one has built up within oneself - for certain past actions - which occured at a certain point of time as many other events were juxtaposed - it left someone hurt very miserably - and over time I have realized this big "blind spot" but am unable to seek a way to come to terms with it....

Sorry if I am asking too many questions - but I really appreciate your advice and input

Noushy Syah said...

Hi Mel,
What an insightful posting...

All of us have blind spots, and it could be good points or another that we are not aware of unless someone point out to us one day..or we could be just pretending as if it doesn't exist especially for the not so good ones.

To accept the blind spots that pointed out by someone to us both have pros and cons...depending on who point it out, it might be genuinely true or fake..whichever it is,we should analyse and inspect ourself intro and retrospect.

But it is surely good to accept the blind spots that we have (the not so good ones)as told by others positively to improve own self.

Thank you Mel, another gr8 posting from you.God bless you.Take care my friend.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Tey,
If we choose to be blind and not face our blind spots to avoid the pains that they bring us, we only exacerbate the situation. Some people bury painful experiences in their lives deep down their subconscious minds to get away from them but they manifest as fears and phobias in the conscious mind. The only solution to be freed from them is to unearth them from the subconscious mind and vanquish them. Then we attain freedom from our fears. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Heiresschild,
That's a very good comparison of what a blind spot is. Actually, it is something that others see in us (most especially the unsavory ones) that we do not see nor acknowledge ourselves.
Most of the time we pretend that it's not there or we just deny that we have it. Then when somebody point that matter to us, we tend to get offended. It is best to avoid or overcome blind spots. Thanks for your visit and generous comments. God bless you and your family always my dear friend.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Ceedy,
No, I don't mind your asking. That means you are interested on the subject matter and is desirous to learn. I can only answer you based on my own beliefs since I think you have another set of beliefs. As Christians, we can cleanse ourselves of all guilts and memories of our past misdeeds by repenting of them and accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and personal savior. Once we have sincerely prayed the prayer of repentance and acceptance, the blood of Jesus cleanses all our sins and all guilt concomitant to it as though we never sinned at all. As the Bible say, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus and we are now a new creation. The old sinful self is dead. Not only that, the righteousness of Jesus Christ is imputed upon us and we can now approach the throne of grace of God since what He see is the countenance of His beloved Son. Now as for other beliefs, those who believe in karma and reincarnation can only hope to do good deeds in order to balance their karma and cancel out the bad karmas they have accumulated in his entire lifetime and hope that he will have a better life in his reincarnation. The Bible denies this belief when it says, "it is appointed for man to die once and after that, judgment."
(Hebrews 9:27) As for clinical solution, we can hire a competent psychiatrist to extricate all the garbages accumulated in our minds and expel them all through hypnosis or some other means. It is best not to hold on to grudges and hurts since they will only imprison us to a dark past. We can forgive the persons who hurt us before and pray for their highest spiritual growth. As to those we have hurt, let us make recompense or restitution as much as possible and ask for their forgiveness, then move on. Thanks for your query. God bless you and your loved ones always.

krystyna said...

Hi Mel!
Everyone has blind spots, everyone has sinned, but thanks God gave his son as sacrifice to pay for sins.
It is not easy to overcome own blin spots, but it is possible with the faith.
Thank you Mel for motivated to think about it.

God bless you and your work!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Noushy,
To be sure that the input is sincere and accurate, try to ask only your most trusted friends and relatives and tell them that you truly desire to improve yourself by overcoming all your blind spots. Sometimes, we don't really want to know our blind spots because they hurt. We may have consciously buried them deep down our subconscious mind and we pretend that they are no longer there. But they will surely manifest in our behaviors and personality and will affect our interactions with others. The best thing is to accept the reality of who we really are and from that point, we can chart the course we want to take in life.
The choice is always ours to take. Nobody can force us to take any action we don't like. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you and your loved ones my dear friend. Have a great and sunny day in foggy London.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Krystyna,
Not all blind spots are sins. Most blind spots are traumatic experiences done to us by others. Some blind spots are hard lessons learned when we were still young and impressionistic. These are actually traits hidden in us that others see but we are unaware of. For example, if our parents were always telling us that we were dull and good for nothing, chances are we will grow up to be that way without us knowing why we are that way. When other people see something in us, we may not be actually aware of its existence. Thanks for the visit and the comments. God bless you my wonderful friend. Please keep up your articles on good health and natural cures . I have learned so much from you. God bless you and your loved ones always my wonderful friend.

krystyna said...

Thank you Mel for your explanation.
You're right!

God bless you and your family!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Krystyna,
You're welcome my dear friend.

Keshi said...

very well-said Mel, ty!


Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Keshi,
Thanks for your visit. God bless.

Mona said...

Mel, Thank you for this post & thank you pointing out my blind spot in the comment box of my lat post!

Yes, I am more than ready to deal with them :)

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Mona,
I admire your humility and kind heart. It takes a lot of guts and humility to acknowledge your weaknesses. Your strength is also your weakness. You just can't say no and people are taking advantage of you because of that. You just have to learn to stand your ground and say no if you really don't want to. People will still respect you even if you do that. That is your inherent right and nobody can take that away from you. Now, banish all feelings of bitterness and frustrations in your heart for that will surely result in mental and emotional aberrations. Just forgive them and release them to their highest spiritual growth. Then you will have joy and peace in your heart. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you and your loved ones always.

-Wendy- said...

hello po! thanks for visiting my site. I will be more than happy to link you =) Am happy i saw your site today.

I have a lot of blind spots. And its true we must confront and deal with them because some might affect important areas in our lives. One thing I've noticed though since I became a Christian, the Lord has been showing me those blind spots and it REALLY HURTS to face them. But the Lord has really helped me out in overcoming it. Some I haven't overcome but I am a work in progress.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Wendy,
Welcome to my blog. I'm glad you decided to link with me. I'm also glad that the Lord has revealed to you your own blind spots. We all have them. It's also nice that you are doing your best to overcome them. In time, I'm sure you will be able to, with the help of the Holy Spirit. Remember the Lord promise us that if we will walk in His ways and follow His will, we will be transformed from glory to glory until we reach the whole measure of the fullness of Jesus Christ. If you could feel that you are already exhibiting the full range of the fruits of the Holy Spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control, then you're on that way to that goal. Thank you very much for coming over. God bless you and your family always.

SeaSpray said...

Great post! True! Not always easy to listen to others about your own faults but you are right. approaching with sincerity and honestly evaluating is key. being able to listen too.

*~*Sameera*~* said...

Very true Mel.Many a time,people are intentionally blind to such spots even though deep down they know such spots exist,just because they do not want to admit that they are not perfect.But then,none can run away from being what they are.

Thanks for the thoughtful post my friend.Take care.God Bless.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Seaspray,
Sorry that I skipped your comments my friend. Sorry for the mistake. Yes, all of us must listen to the advice of others regarding our blind spots. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Sameera,
Oh I'm very sorry too my dear friend that I skipped your comments. Sorry for the mistake. Yes, we must be honest with ourselves and not pretend that our own blind spots do not exist, for others see them like a giant handwriting on the wall. Thanks for your visit and comments my dear friend. God bless you always.

o vasilias tou dasous kai twn skoypidiwn twn thewn tis ghs.. said...

kises fom olimpous..:)))

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Vasilias,
Thanks for your visit and greetings. I have already visited your blog but I have to find out if there is an approriate translation tool for your language. Thanks and God bless.

"Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts" (Hebrews 4:7b)


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