Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Personal Change - The Secret To A Stress Free Life


 THE SECRET TO A STRESS FREE LIFE
We are not happy with our situation in life so we change it. We are not happy with our work, so we resign and look for another job. We are not happy with our spouses, so we divorce him/her and look for another one. We are not happy with our children, so we try to distance ourselves as much as possible from them. When we are confronted with a situation we don't like, we immediately change it. But in the process, that does make us happy?

When we change a stressful situation- our work, our spouse, or anything else that give us stress, did that make us happy? No, it only made us happy at first but later on, the same symptoms reappear and we are back to square one where we wallow once again in stress and unhappiness.

Why? Because changing the situation is never the solution. Remember, we can never change another person. That person will change because he likes to change and not because we caused him to change. We cannot change the stressful situations in our lives either. Have we not noticed that life is never constant. It is always a case of ebb and flow, high and low, happiness and sorrow. One day you are up there in the clouds in happiness, and the following day, you are down there in the dumps with a desperate situation that threatens to tear you apart.

Why? Because life is like that. The only person who is truly happy and joyful in life irregardless of his external situations, is the person who has learned to make a personal change within and accepts whatever fate hands down to him. He can live in extreme equanimity through the good days as well as through the bad days. He does not attempt to change people, he adjusts to them. He does not attempt to change situations, he rides them through. He is like the bamboo tree that bends down when a fierce storm is present. Then he regains his full stature as soon as the storm is gone. The sturdiest trees are those that survived the strongest and fiercest storms in life.


You want to be truly happy in life? Then learn to trust God with all your heart and accept everything that He gives you whether good or bad. In the end, when we have passed His tests, we will surely attain true happiness and joy in life.

38 comments:

toby said...

Thanks for visiting my blog..
thanks for this inspirational
Articles...

Arthur said...

Hi Mel, you know, I've got a card which says the same. Trust God, and everything will be OK. And since I read that card once and again I feel relieved.

So I learned to trust God, and still praying.

Thanks Mel.

Big greetings and big hugs

Sweet Dreams, from the bottom of my Heart:
Arthur

Gusthav said...

Hi Mel, you know, I'm happy, good things happened since Arthur is my friend.

He did teach me all about God, so I've ever trusted Him, and with that my Mother got back from nowhere, and anyways, I've always been happy.

Thanks Mel, Greetings and Hugs

Nice Day, with my whole soul:
Gusthav

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Toby,
Thanks also for reciprocating my visit. I got your name from Link Referral and I have been visiting and making blog reviews of Filipino blogs as listed in Link Referral. I feel Filipinos must help one another to increase traffic in our respective blogs. Thanks again. God bless you and your famaialy always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Arthur,
There's not much we can do with our lives if God will not help us. We do the best we can but leave the rest to God. Thanks for your usual visit my young friend. God bless you and your family always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Gusthav,
Arthur is a real friend and brother to you. All the wonderful things happening in your life were God ordained. Learn to trust Him for everything and He will surely direct your paths. Thanks for your usual visit too my young friend. God bless you and your family always.

Mona said...

This is such an enlightening post.

Yes the only thing permanent in Life is Change.

Life is always in a flux and keeps flowing like a stream or a river. This flow keeps it fresh. Only flowing water remains fresh. Stagnant water tends to rot. So do we if our life comes to a standstill.

krystyna said...

Hi Mel!
Life is life - sometimes good day, sometimes worse day. As a weather. We like to find "victim" of our stress.
You right, we can never change another person.
We can only change yourself. This lesson took me a long time, but it was a good lesson. I'm happy that I stop looking for "victim" of my stress, of my unhappiness.
When I have problem, I think about- what I have to change in myself?.

God bless you, your family and your writing!

Keshi said...

Very nice post..so encouraging as usual.


**you cant change people

WOW I was just thinking abt that as I came to this blog!!


yes I agree...we've got to work on the inner self than trying to change others. thats the only way to contentment.


Keshi.

SeaSpray said...

Such wise words and so true. Thank you Mel :)

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Mona,
You are so right my friend. A flowing stream will always have fresh water and a stagnant one will have stale and putrid water. Life is like that. We move on. We change for the better. If we commit mistakes and stumble, we pick up the pieces and continue with our journey through life. You have the wisdom of a person who encountered many trials in life. Thanks for your visit and your words of wisdom. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Krystyna,
We learn hard and valuable lessons through life. But one of the most important lesson is how to admit that we were wrong and commit to change ourselves. We grow and mature by being humble and having a listening heart. Even the humblest of creatures have valuable lessons to teach us. Then we move on not turning our gaze backwards but towards the summit of the realization of God's purpose for our lives. Thanks for your visit my friend. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Keshi,
Each carry his own burdens in life and we can not waste our time tinkering with somebody else's life when our own life maybe in shambles. It is easy to pick on someone else's mistakes and weaknesses and keep a blind eye on our own. But in the end, it is our own life that we must give an account for. Better to find out our own purpose in life and make a difference in this world. Thanks for your usual visit my friend. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Seaspray,
Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you and your loved ones always.

priscocam said...

Another beautiful entry and i like it!Yes,happiness is a state of mind and we can only know happiness by knowing sadness as well.Life is a yin and yang.The ultimate happiness can only be found deep inside us and it is always under construction,just like success.

Octavian said...

Hello there! I'm so happy to see you're still blogging and that you have more viewers! Thank you for your well wishings and I would like to return them. It has been quite a while I'm afraid, my education has consumed most of my time lately.

Regarding your post, I think it's very interesting. It reminds me a little of the German Philosopher Nietzsche's idea of "the eternal return". Basically, it is the idea that the only way to be happy is to embrace the idea that some things are out of your control. And when you think back on your past actions, you resolve that you would never have done anything different.

Noushy Syah said...

Hi MEL
I love this inspirational post..Thank you for high lighted the importance of being grateful to Him.

..but we surely can always change ourselves for the better with own willingness to improve our status and be grateful then.

Have a gr8 day Mel.May God bless you always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Prily,
Thanks for your visit and for your valuable comments. Yes, we must learn to flow with life and not fight against it. That way we will be saving precious energy that can be better used for constructive endeavors in life. Thanks again for you rcomments. I will be visiting you soon. God bless you all.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Octavian,
Welcome back my friend. It's been a long time since you last blog. I'm so glad you are back and I hope, back to stay. You are so right. There are things we cannot change in life. Rather than stew in our own broth, it's better to seek the things that we can do and go ahead with it. Thanks again and I look forward to a meaningful exchange of correspondences with you. God bless you and yur loved ones always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Noushy,
Yes, we must always strive to change ourselves for the better and quit trying to change others. If we want a more meaningful relationship wwith someone we want to change, we must change our attitude to that person and not change him altogether. A good example is better than words in trying to effect a change in another person. Thanks for your comments my wonderful friend. God bless you and your loved ones always.

c e e d y said...

Thank you for this post - it is truly helpful.

You are so right - that what seems "happy" momentarily is actually not - and when one is young, naive and restless he/she grabs onto this short lived happiness and then comes back to square one.

Thank you and have a wonderful day.

PS - Solitaire has replied to your query regarding her "love" - do read it.

preetha said...

Thank you for this post. I actually woke up today feeling frustrated with my state, really craving for some hard work!! I'm tired of idleness... But asw you said..life is like that! It'l move on soon...I hope!

Good day to you!

Sarah said...

Kuya Mel,

You always never fail to write such a meaningful piece. Keep it coming God bless! Have a wonderful weekend ngayon lng ako ulit nakahop sa blog mo.

*~*Sameera*~* said...

Indeed it is we who need to look into ourself once in a while and see what is going wrong and where.Unless we do so,we can never be satisfied with our life and will eternally seek greener pastures and there is no point in blaming circumstances and other people.

Thanks for the thoughtful post my friend.Have a great weekend.God Bless You and your loved ones always.

Farah Deen said...

Hi,it's impossible to always hop to a new situation, hoping that it would be better. life is not that simple that we can just scrap off what we don't like and get a new life altogether. it's more of running away from facing the reality of life. I think, we can always change our attitude to be more positive and optimistic in life.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Ceedy,
You are always intelligent with your thoughts my friend and very deep in your comments. I agree with what you say. Experiences are but temporary in nature. We must not be misled by them since they can always vary from time to time and we will be left bewildered and confused if we are not properly grounded in deep principles.
Thanks for your visit and comments my friend. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Preetha,
Life is what we make of it. We just move on with our life and do the things we must do. Everything will fall into place if we always do our part in life. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi sis Sarah,
It's okay my wonderful friend. I know how busy you are with being a full time mommy and working on the side too. Just enjoy your time with your family and friends. I know you're always there for me. It's the quality of time that counts not the quantity of time. I hope you are doing well and in the best of health. Take good care of your self and your family my wonderful friend. God bless you all.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Sameera,
Thanks for visiting me my beautiful friend. Yes, we must dwell on self introspection to see where we are and where we are going. But sometimes the best of plans goes down the drain because it is not ordained for us. If we are not strong and well grounded, we stumble and break to pieces. But the strong in character will shrug it off and continue to move on knowing fully well that in life, you win some and you lose some. It is how we pick up the pieces after our losses that we can ultimately triumph in life. Thanks for your valuable visit and comments my beautiful friend. My, you are really lovely and I'm so proud that
you indeed are my friend. God bless you and your family always. Have a great day in Dubai.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Farah Deen,
Thanks for your visit and your valuable comments. Yes, I agree with you. We have to cope with all kinds of situations. It depends on how well we could adjust and cope with stressful situations that determine our state of being in life. God bless you and your loved ones always.

tin-tin said...

just don't lose faith in God :)

fingertalks said...

hi bro.mel,

thanks for sharing this post. personal change is all we need to make our lives better...by first accepting the things as they have happened, good or bad...by acknowledging that we are all sinners and forgiveness from God is just a prayer and repentance away...by being attuned with ourselves for all the flaws that make us up...personal change is all that we need so that real change in our society can happen...thank u for this post.

God bless you and your family. have a nice day

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Tintin,
So sorry that I overlooked your comments. Sorry for that my friend. Thanks for your visit and your wonderful comments. God bless you always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi sis Des,
So sorry that I also overlooked your comments. Sorry for the mistake. Yes, I agree with you that we must be humble enough to admit our limitations and faults in life. Thanks for your visit and valuable comments. God bless you always my friend.

heiresschild said...

my secret to a stress-free life: casting ALL of my cares, worries, burdens, anxieties upon the Lord, for He cares for me and His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Mississippi Songbird said...

it's so true. Too many people take the easy way out.. God is the only hope and happiness. If he is in your heart, You can handle anything. God Bless you and have a happy Easter Week..

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Heiresschild,
Yes, you are so right there. We just have to give our burdens to the Lord and He will give us the joy of our hearts. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Stephanie,
So right you are my friend. We can always gain our strength from the Lord. Happy Easter too my friend. God bless you all.

"Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts" (Hebrews 4:7b)

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