Saturday, September 20, 2008

A Reprint From Judie (Please Read This Post And Let It Melt Your Heart)

REMEMBERING ALETAIn the late evening hours of January 7, 1968 a star was born. Two minutes later, another star was born. And from that moment on my life was catapulted into the hectic days and nights and months and years of raising twins, along with their older sister, the first star.

And the first-born twin was Aleta. She was beautiful, with eyes that sparkled and twinkled, a laugh that tinkled, and a hearthat went out to anyone in need...her family, eventually her children, her patients. For she became a nurse and she was much loved. Once, in college, she went to where there were homeless people and talked with them, trying to understand why their life seemed so hopeless. She loved fiercely.

Excerpt from a teen letter to mom while she visited her older sister: "Dear Mom, Hello! I love you alot and boy do I miss you. I just thought I'd write to let you know how much I love you and that I'll never stop thinking about you. You're the best mom anyone could ever have!............... "

Several years ago she became a single parent. She worried about her children all the time. Having grown up in a single parent home, she had emotional needs I never knew about until she was grown and told me. My heart loved her even harder then.

A pre-teen little league cheerleader

Once a hopeful bride.

A beautiful young lady.
One of her children was Lindy, and Lindy had Down Syndrome. She called Lindy her little shadow and chuckled when she said it. She took Lindy everywhere: shopping, swimming, camping, working with her one-on-one, teaching her to sign, teaching her about life. A wonderful mother.

<>If you walk through a park and see a lady sitting on a bench with her hands over her face, shoulders shaking, that's me....grieving. I lost her on Sunday, May 4 in a freak ATV accident in the mountains in the Tahoe area. I never liked it there, even when she first took me there years ago. She loved it. She thought those God-forsaken, ugly, Nevada/California mountains were so beautiful. Not me. She never had a chance as an adult to see the wonders of the Blue Ridge mountains, the Shenandoahs, the Poconos. So she settled for the shale-covered, barren, whatever mountain range that is. Those mountains took her from me, and I hate them. But it's where she wanted to be.

<>If you hear a loud, haunting wailing in the darkness of the night, that's me, calling for my child to be returned to me. Or perhaps it's her twin, searching for the spirit of her other half.

<> Exerpt from an email I received on Mother's Day, 2006: "Happy Mother's Day Momma! I want to take this minute to explain that it is because of you that my life is so great. I have taken all your words of wisdom and am practicing them now. It's working just fine. Thank you so much for guiding my life the way you do. I miss you so much. Check your mailbox this week to grab your surprise. It may be late but at least I'm consistent, never without you in my mind as the best momma for me!!! I love you..........God Bless you......Rainbow."


That was her nickname. Rainbow. And she was.

The thoughtful one.

Always a talker.

Aleta, a hero. She saved her daughter's life before she lost her own. When she was on that icy incline, she put the child off and told her to wait while she got back to a safe place. That's where Aleta's fiance found Lindy - standing by the road waiting for her mommy to come back up that mountainside she slid over, that heavy machine on top of her.

Things she loved:

- Those mountains
- Guinea pigs and bunnies
- Family
- Especially her twin
- Camping and Quadding
- Her precious two boys and one girl
- Her work as an R.N.
-Her fiance
- Life
- Smiling

Excerpt from a note she left me July 2001: " I love you so much....I'll take care of you forever whenever you need me......(heart, heart, xoxo) Dr. Black, BSN, RN"........We always called her Dr. Black!

Her fiance told me she woke up that morning in the campsite and said" Isn't it wonderful to wake up next to someone you love?"

The week before the tragedy she went to see her twin, and when she got home she sent her beloved twin a bible and a picture of Jesus, with Matthew 5:3-12 marked. She wanted her sister to apply these lessons to her own life. There is a heaviness inside me that won't go away. One third of my heart is broken off, and though it will eventually heal over, it will never be repaired or replaced. And how can a twin left behind ever heal? There is no creativity left in me. All my paints are now put away. I am colorless.


Just like a beautiful flower. She grew, she blossomed, then she was cut from the stem of life and perished. I am grateful only that she found her spiritual self before she left. I love you my child.

Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.THIS BLOG IS CLOSED.


*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

I just commented on another post and there was an error and then saw it was gone!

Coming to this post,it was so heartrending.May she find eternal solace.

Take care my friend.God Bless You and your loved ones always.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

@Judie,I just re-read the post and can understand the pain you are going through.Take care.She is at peace wherever she is,and always with you.God Bless!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Sameera,
No, I took out that post when I read the post of Judie. Her post made me cry and I just felt the depth of suffering and longing in her heart for her lost daughter. I wanted to make a comment on her post but there was no comment section. I could not even ask her permission to reprint her post so that others may read it and be touched the way it touched me. I have read so many post before but this is the most moving and painful post I've ever read. Thanks for saying a special comment for her. Thanks for your visit and touching comments. God bless you always my dear friend.

Preetilata【ツ】 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Preetilata【ツ】 said...

this was a very special an touching post. may she be in peace.

god bless you and take care

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Preetilata,
I decided to repost the post of Judie because her article really melt my heart. I was crying as I read the post. The grief and suffering for her lost daughter is so much. I hope she finds peace of mind and be reconciled to the fact that her daughter is already gone. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you always.

krystyna said...

Mel, I think that the loss own children is the most painful event in our life. My heart was cry too.
Only very deep feith in God (not easy in this moment) can cure broken heart.
Thank you for sharing.
God bless Judie!
She is in my prayers.

krystyna said...

I mean "faith"

God bless you and your family!

heiresschild said...

that was so special of you Mel to re-post Judie's post here for us to see and share in. my prayers are definitely with her and the rest of the family and friends. healing is a process, and i know as they allow God to take them thru the process, their hearts and minds will eventually be healed. Aleta loved, and was loved, and she leaves parts of herself thru her twin and her children. there's nothing like a Mother's love. may her Mom's heart be comforted.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Krystyna,
I felt the pain of Judie in her heart. Such is the anguish of a mother's heart grieving for her lost child. Nothing could ever replace her child in her memory and in her heart. Let us all pray that Judie will get over this dark episode in her life and learn to move on. We will always pray for you Judie that God gives you the grace that will; comfort you and soothe the pain in your heart. Thank you so much Krystyna for your visit and sympathetic comments. God bless you always my dear friend.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Sylvia,
Thank you so much for your comforting words for Judie. She needs all the love and comfort that her friends and readers can give her so that she can finally move on with her life. Right now, let us give her the space to mourn and grieve the death of her beloved child. We can only pray for her. Thank you so much for your visit and comforting words Sylvia. God bless you and your loved ones always my dear friend.

tin-tin said...

i hope she'll find comfort

Tey said...

I felt some sadness in my heart Mel.. Very sad story.. I am sure God is with her
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Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Tintin,
Thank you so much for commiserating with her. She's in so much pain and anguish and she needs all comforting words to ease her pain. Let's all pray for her. Thanks for your visit and words of comfort. God bless you always my friend.

Preetilata【ツ】 said...

i read ur reply to my previous comment. it really needs a grt heart to do wat u hv done. by this reprint post u hv agn proved it wat a nice man u are. through this simple gesture u hv proved many grt things...that in todays world also ppl do care for each other. peace and good is still there and it will always be there. m sure Aleta wud be in peace and happiness coz so many more people her praying for her after going thru this post of urs. i hope Judie reads this blog post. this simple simple gestures makes the world much more beautiful.

god bless u n ur family always. how is Heidi?.. gv my love n regards to her.

take care :)

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Tey,
To lose one's daughter who was at the prime of her life is really devastating. She had just poured out her heart to her readers and I'm sure that with our prayers and the support of her family and friends, sh will be able to move on. Thanks for your visit and comforting words my friend. God bless you always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Preetee,
Thank you so much for your very kind and inspiring words but as always, TO GOD BE THE GLORY. I do everything to please God and give glory to His name. That is my main motivation in life. You must be in cloud nine right now enjoying the blissful existence of a newly wed. May your marriage last a lifetime and beyond. Heidi is fine and studying right now in Grade 1. She's very intelligent and alert. I hope she will get an honor this school year. Thank you so much for your beautiful and encouraging comments. God bless you and your husband always.

Free meditatiion download said...

This is really sad

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Thanks for your visit and sympathetic comments. God bless you always.

judie said...

Hi Mel. It's me, Judie. My husband told me about your repost awhile ago, and I have honestly been avoiding coming here because I knew I would cry and cry again. But I finally came. I thank you now for the repost, because your reader's comments have soothed my heart, which still aches daily. I didn't leave a comment section open on my original blog post because I knew I would cry if I read any comments. And now reading them here of course I did, I am, but still it soothes my soul to know that others, strangers, care. I appreciate them all. And thank you Mel for the goodness you do. God Bless You!

"Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts" (Hebrews 4:7b)


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