Saturday, September 20, 2008

A Reprint From Judie (Please Read This Post And Let It Melt Your Heart)

REMEMBERING ALETAIn the late evening hours of January 7, 1968 a star was born. Two minutes later, another star was born. And from that moment on my life was catapulted into the hectic days and nights and months and years of raising twins, along with their older sister, the first star.

And the first-born twin was Aleta. She was beautiful, with eyes that sparkled and twinkled, a laugh that tinkled, and a hearthat went out to anyone in need...her family, eventually her children, her patients. For she became a nurse and she was much loved. Once, in college, she went to where there were homeless people and talked with them, trying to understand why their life seemed so hopeless. She loved fiercely.

Excerpt from a teen letter to mom while she visited her older sister: "Dear Mom, Hello! I love you alot and boy do I miss you. I just thought I'd write to let you know how much I love you and that I'll never stop thinking about you. You're the best mom anyone could ever have!............... "

Several years ago she became a single parent. She worried about her children all the time. Having grown up in a single parent home, she had emotional needs I never knew about until she was grown and told me. My heart loved her even harder then.

A pre-teen little league cheerleader

Once a hopeful bride.

A beautiful young lady.
One of her children was Lindy, and Lindy had Down Syndrome. She called Lindy her little shadow and chuckled when she said it. She took Lindy everywhere: shopping, swimming, camping, working with her one-on-one, teaching her to sign, teaching her about life. A wonderful mother.

<>If you walk through a park and see a lady sitting on a bench with her hands over her face, shoulders shaking, that's me....grieving. I lost her on Sunday, May 4 in a freak ATV accident in the mountains in the Tahoe area. I never liked it there, even when she first took me there years ago. She loved it. She thought those God-forsaken, ugly, Nevada/California mountains were so beautiful. Not me. She never had a chance as an adult to see the wonders of the Blue Ridge mountains, the Shenandoahs, the Poconos. So she settled for the shale-covered, barren, whatever mountain range that is. Those mountains took her from me, and I hate them. But it's where she wanted to be.

<>If you hear a loud, haunting wailing in the darkness of the night, that's me, calling for my child to be returned to me. Or perhaps it's her twin, searching for the spirit of her other half.

<> Exerpt from an email I received on Mother's Day, 2006: "Happy Mother's Day Momma! I want to take this minute to explain that it is because of you that my life is so great. I have taken all your words of wisdom and am practicing them now. It's working just fine. Thank you so much for guiding my life the way you do. I miss you so much. Check your mailbox this week to grab your surprise. It may be late but at least I'm consistent, never without you in my mind as the best momma for me!!! I love you..........God Bless you......Rainbow."


That was her nickname. Rainbow. And she was.

The thoughtful one.

Always a talker.

Aleta, a hero. She saved her daughter's life before she lost her own. When she was on that icy incline, she put the child off and told her to wait while she got back to a safe place. That's where Aleta's fiance found Lindy - standing by the road waiting for her mommy to come back up that mountainside she slid over, that heavy machine on top of her.

Things she loved:

- Those mountains
- Guinea pigs and bunnies
- Family
- Especially her twin
- Camping and Quadding
- Her precious two boys and one girl
- Her work as an R.N.
-Her fiance
- Life
- Smiling

Excerpt from a note she left me July 2001: " I love you so much....I'll take care of you forever whenever you need me......(heart, heart, xoxo) Dr. Black, BSN, RN"........We always called her Dr. Black!

Her fiance told me she woke up that morning in the campsite and said" Isn't it wonderful to wake up next to someone you love?"

The week before the tragedy she went to see her twin, and when she got home she sent her beloved twin a bible and a picture of Jesus, with Matthew 5:3-12 marked. She wanted her sister to apply these lessons to her own life. There is a heaviness inside me that won't go away. One third of my heart is broken off, and though it will eventually heal over, it will never be repaired or replaced. And how can a twin left behind ever heal? There is no creativity left in me. All my paints are now put away. I am colorless.


Just like a beautiful flower. She grew, she blossomed, then she was cut from the stem of life and perished. I am grateful only that she found her spiritual self before she left. I love you my child.

Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.THIS BLOG IS CLOSED.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Day I Almost Committed Suicide

I will never forget that day. That was November last year when I almost took my life because of severe and excruciating pain in my lower back and my whole torso. You see, I was born with a congenital scoliosis (a deformity in the lumbar section of my lower back). This has hampered the normal flow of my life and has caused me so much pain for most of my life. For two months last year, I was unable to go out of my house because of the nagging pain in my lower back and right leg. I was limited to a few movements inside the house. Then it happened. As I was bending to pick up a soap in the bath room floor, I felt a sudden twitch in my right leg and I felt a horrifying pain shot up on my whole torso. I could not stand up any more and the throbbing pain began to flood my entire torso. I have to literally crawl out of our bath room and lie on the sofa in our living room. And that has been my only place in the house for three days.

The pain was such that I have to take the most powerful pain reliever every four hours. I did not eat during those three days, only a few nibbles before taking my medicines. I have to use a makeshift crutch to be able to go to the toilet to relieve myself. I lulled myself to sleep and contented myself in praying to the Lord. On the second night of my ordeal, the pain was so much that I contemplated on getting a kitchen knife and ending my misery and pain. Only the fear of the Lord prevented me from doing so. I knew my God would deliver me. Then it came. On the night of the third day of my ordeal, a text message (sms) came to me from a Christian sister and friend bearing a verse in Jeremiah 30:17, "But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord." I claimed that promise and I knew my deliverance was at hand. When I woke up the next morning the pain was gone and I was able to go to the toilet unaided to finally relieve myself. I took a fresh bath and that was so wonderful an experience. The Lord has delivered me time and again from the valley of the shadow of death. LET HIS NAME BE PRAISED AND GLORIFIED FOREVERMORE.

Tags: God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit, Pain, Suicide, Deliverance, Fear of The Lord

Posted by: Mel Avila Alarilla

"Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts" (Hebrews 4:7b)


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